Happy 1st Birthday, Hannah!

It's hard to believe that Hannah will be 1 yr. old tomorrow.  It seems as though it was just last week that we brought her home from the hospital.  Although we did not really know what to expect a year ago, I must say that we have been blessed in so many ways over the last year to have Hannah in our family.  In fact, there are many days after work, when I just want to go home and get away from everyone, that I walk in the door and Hannah sees me and gets a big grin on her face because she is happy to see me.  What more could I ask for?

As many people already know, Hannah was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.  We were told within hours of her birth that she had several symptoms of Down Syndrome, but they would have to do further tests to confirm the initial diagnosis.  After a couple of weeks, the diagnosis was confirmed.  We started the new year not knowing what to expect, not knowing how Hannah would grow and progress, not knowing what we were going to go through, not knowing how to react to this situation, not knowing how her brothers would react to her.

Honestly, we started the year out with fear of the unknown.  We did not personally know anyone with Down Syndrome.  We did not know much about Down Syndrome.  No one was able to tell us how mild or serious Hannah's condition would be.  We just did not know where this road was going to lead us.

We did know her heart was fine.  Heart problems are somewhat common amongst people with Down Syndrome, but the tests that they ran on her in the hospital showed that her heart was in good condition.

Hannah did not pass her hearing test in the hospital, and she also did not do well in some follow up hearing tests.  However, as time passed by, and her hearing was tested again, the tests indicated that her hearing was getting better.  I guess the inner workings of the ear just needed time to develop better.  She will be getting tubes in her ears next week to help drain the fluid that is currently puddling in her ears.  This should also help to improve some of the balance issues that she has.

Hannah had her eyes checked, and she needed to get glasses.  I am still not quite sure how they figured this out, but once she got her glasses, we noticed that they really did help her out.  She was better able to grab toys (and other things she should not have been able to get her hands on).  In addition, she looks so cute in her glasses.

We have had the opportunity to have 2 different therapists come into our home and work with Hannah on various developmental aspects.  She has received good reviews from them on her development this far.  She is able to crawl all over the house, and she is doing her best to pull herself up to a standing position.  Hopefully, in the next few weeks, she will be able to do this without our help.

Also, starting this Sunday, she will 'graduate' from the baby nursery to the crawler nursery at church.  This is a big step for her, as she will now be in a nursery with mobile children who are not necessarily that gentle with things (and people) that they come into contact with.  Pam, as well as some of the other ladies in the church, will be in there with her to help her out as she grows accustomed to this new environment.

Through all of this, I must say that I have been impressed with how her brothers have treated her and how they interact with her.  I was fearful that they would treat her like another toy (or worse yet, like they treat each other), but they have been very good with her and to her.  They all play with her.  While they may not completely understand Down Syndrome, they do understand that she is their sister and that they need to take good care of her.  And they do.

As far as Pam and I are concerned, we have our good days and bad days.  At first, the  bad days definitely outnumbered the good days.  But that seems to have changed, and our good days outnumber the bad ones now.  We still have a lot to learn, but one thing we do know is that she is our daughter and we love her very much.

I must admit that I still find myself asking why this happened to us.  Why was such a beautiful, innocent child born with Down Syndrome?  I am not sure I will ever get the answer to that question.  But one thing I do know is that Hannah has taught me so much over the last year.  I have found that I need to be more patient, not just with her, but with the boys (something I am not always good at).  I have learned that I need to watch what I say, because I now see how some of the idiotic things I have said before about people's mental capacity can hurt those around me.

In my freshman year of college, the theme for that year was "God is great.  God is good.  Let us thank Him."  Indeed, God is good to us.  While we may not see it at the time, as we look back to see what He has done for us, we can see His goodness and His providence in our lives.  As I look back on the last year and reflect on what we have been through as a family, I can be thankful for the words written by Ron Hamilton to a song that he wrote after having one of his eyes removed:    "Now I can see testing comes from above.  God strengthens His children and purges in love.  My Father knows best, and I trust in His care.  Through purging, more fruit I will bear.  O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistakes."

The Ongoing Debacle at Penn State

Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last several weeks, you are probably well aware of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse case that is playing out in State College, PA.  Over the course of several years, Sandusky is accused of preying on young boys and engaging in inappropriate behavior (some of which is sexual) with these boys.  The grand jury indictment stated that there were 8 boys making these claims (though as time goes on, this list will probably grow).  Sandusky will probably spend the rest of his life in prison because of this scandal.

Before I go any further, I just want to say that the acts that Sandusky is being accused of are grotesque and heinous acts.  If he is found guilty, he deserves whatever punishment he gets, and then some more on top of that.  To be in his position and take advantage of young boys the way he did is repulsive and predatory, and there is absolutely no reason that any court or any judge should show him any leniency.  Sandusky is the predator, the criminal, the monster.

Now that a few weeks have gone by and the overall anger seems to have subsided a bit, I want to look back at how this all unraveled after the grand jury indicted Sandusky.  There are many things that annoyed and frustrated me as this all played out in public, in the press, and on TV.  And it seemed as though almost all of the anger was directed at Joe Paterno.

Paterno is a legend in collegiate athletics.  He was a football player, who became an assistant coach, and ultimately came to be known as the winningest coach in major college football.  He has been a leader to those he coached, a mentor, someone who wanted his players to succeed, not just on the field, but off of it.  Penn State has a high graduation rate amongst its football players.  In fact, of all of the buildings at Penn State that could be named after Paterno, it is the library that bears his name.

Yet, after all that Paterno has done for Penn State and for college football, people were yelling for Paterno's head as this scandal was breaking.  They treated Paterno as if he was the one who was taking advantage of these children and molesting them.  You rarely heard Sandusky's name in the days following the breaking of this story.  People wanted to hold Paterno accountable for everything that happened, as though Sandusky had given him every intimate detail of what happened and Paterno was trying to cover the story up for his good friend and former assistant coach.

We know from the grand jury report that Paterno was aware of one incident that was reported to him by Mike McQueary.  Paterno reported the incident to the proper two people on campus: the athletic director (it happened in an athletic facility) and the head of campus security and police.  Most colleges have their own security and police and do not necessarily need to rely on the police from the surrounding towns/cities.  Perhaps Paterno could have pushed them harder to investigate this more fully.  I don't know if he did or not.  Maybe Paterno should have gone to the police.  What we do no know is that, according to the New York Times, the information was given to the DA, but he did nothing with it.

Now, how is that Paterno's fault that the DA chose not to take it further?  It's not.  But apparently there are some out there that think that no matter what Paterno did, it was not enough.  The bigger issue here is McQueary.  If he saw this happening, why didn't he do anything to stop it?  Why did he choose to leave?  Why didn't he report what he saw immediately?  Again, the anger was directed at Paterno, who was not even an eye witness.

After a few days of public outcry, Paterno announced he would retire, effective at the end of the 2011 season.  For the Board of Trustees, this was not good enough.  They decided that Paterno had to go.  But instead of meeting with him, in person, they decided to fire him over the phone.  How cowardly is that?  If you are going to fire the guy, at least do it in person.  I do not believe that Paterno should have been fired.  He should have been allowed to finish out the year.  However, if they would have met with him in person to fire him, I could at least have some respect for the Board of Trustees.

Then there was the piling on.  The Big Ten would remove his name from the championship trophy.  The 2 senators from PA would withdraw his name for the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  The rumors of his statue being removed from in front of the stadium (this proved not to be true).

After Paterno was fired, the talking heads on TV then turned their attention to McQueary's inaction based on what he saw.  They also started to remember again that this is all happening due to the reported actions of Sandusky.  It was as though their goal was Paterno getting fired.  Now that he was gone, they could go back to focusing on the real story.

Now we will have endless investigations.  First, the PA AG will continue the ongoing investigation.  The State of PA is going to look into it.  The Feds are going to look into it.  And the NCAA does not want to be left out (although this is not part of their charter, as this does not have to do with the athletic program, it just happens to involve someone who used to be part of the athletic program).

Through all of this, there are still several questions that I need to have answered.

1. What was Jerry Sandusky thinking?  First, you ruined your credibility and character.  I am not sure it is capable of being repaired.  But due to you actions and your inability to control yourself, you have also torn down a great coach with a great legacy, you have dispirited a football team, and you have tarnished the legacy of an entire university.
2. Why didn't Mike McQueary stop the actions of Jerry Sandusky?  Why did he choose to leave, going first to his father, then to Joe Paterno, instead of the police?
3. When the athletic director told Sandusky that he would be barred from campus and the athletic facilities, why did Sandusky still have an office on campus and have the ability to use the athletic facilities?  Was he not actually able to enforce this?  If not, then why hand it down as punishment in the first place?
4. Is all of this fair to Paterno?  Was he the one who was taking advantage of the kids?  Other than the one occasion that McQueary told him about, was he even aware that Sandusky was a child predator?
5. Why did the DA choose not to press charges?  Did he not have enough evidence?
6. Why does the media have a feeding frenzy with stories like this?  When did they become the moral arbiters of society?  Is the media hypocritical for going after Paterno, who was not an accomplice in this story and has done nothing illegal, while protecting Hollywood types like Roman Polanski who stand accused of sex/rape of a minor?  Or showing hypocrisy by going after Paterno, yet continually praising a late Senator who also killed a woman via drowning her?

We need to keep in mind that there has not been a trial yet.  As this goes on, we will find out more details, and it is very likely that there will be more victims coming out as this case moves forward.  But we need to remember that Sandusky does deserve a fair trial, which is guaranteed to him by our Constitution. And I want him to have that fair trial, so at the end of the day, everyone can look on this and say that justice was served.  And if he is found guilty of these heinous acts, he needs to rot in prison for the rest of his life.

As for Joe Paterno, if he did know more about Sandusky's actions, then he will need to live with that for the rest of his life.  It is probably hard enough knowing that he was aware of one child being abused and that nothing was done to stop that abuse.  The guilt he has to live with will be a burden on him for the rest of his life, and perhaps that is punishment enough for him.

As for the school, and the football program in particular, life goes on.  It has to.  You cannot let it stop here.  There are some who have said that PSU needs to forfeit the rest of the season, and perhaps just go ahead and forfeit next year, too.  This is not necessary.  Penn State needs to get back on the field and show that they can overcome this.  The football players are not guilty of anything. They should not be punished for this.

For Jerry Sandusky, he needs to pay the price for what he did.  However, he can still have some hope in all of this.  He can know that Jesus died for his sins, too.  He can still ask forgiveness of God, who will grant him that forgiveness should he ask for it.  That does not mean that Sandusky should be set free.  If he would do this, it would mean that his punishment would stop at his death on this earth.  It would not carry over into an eternity in hell.  If God could forgive a man like Jerry Sandusky, perhaps we need to find it in our hearts to forgive him (and others), too.