Remembering Ken Culver

Ken Culver was your average guy from Kansas. Other than his boisterous nature, he really did not stand out. He was not famous. He was not an extraordinary athlete. He may not have even been the most attractive guy. However, he was a great human being and a tremendous friend.

Ken Culver was supposed to be married on December 16, 2000 to Melissa Delaney. However, an unfortunate accident on December 9, one week before his wedding was to take place, took the life of one of the greatest friends I have ever had.

I first met Ken while I was in college. It was the Spring, 1993 semester at Bob Jones University. I sat out the Fall semester to earn some money. When I returned, there was a freshman there who thought he knew everything. He was loud. He was somewhat obnoxious (or so I thought). It was Ken, at his finest.

As I worked with him at the Dining Common, we started to become friends. Over the course of the next couple of years, we became best friends. After he graduated, he stayed at Bob Jones University as Dining Common staff in the bakery. It was through his work at the Dining Common that he earned his CDL.

Pam and I were going to get married in July, 1996. I asked Ken if he would be my best man. We were best friends, and he was on staff with my soon-to-be wife. He accepted the invitation. It was almost like old times again when he arrived in North Carolina for the wedding. In fact, there is still a picture out there, somewhere, of Ken and I lighting the unity candle. Don't ask me why. It just seemed like something hilarious to do at the time (it was during picture time, not during the ceremony).

Anyway, after a couple of years of work at the Dining Common, he started to work as a cross country tractor trailer driver. He travelled all over the place. He would stop by our house at times on his way through town. I enjoyed his e-mails from all over the place. He started to publish his 'Trucker's Newsletter.' It was a humorous look at his life on the road.

One time, he called us to let us know he was coming through town and would like to stop by. I informed him that, unfortunately, we had committed to helping some friends move that weekend. Instead of blowing through town, he offered to help. He had a few days yet to reach his destination, and would rather help out than get to his destination early and sit, waiting to unload his trailer. He did not know these friends of ours from the man in the moon, but he was more than willing to help. He drove the moving truck. He moved a lot of furniture. That was Ken, just wanting to help other people.

However, this life on the road did take its toll on him. He took a job in South Carolina, working for a friend who was in the tree removal business. He liked this work. One day, he called me, and I could tell he was more excited than normal. He told me that he got engaged. He was so happy. He asked me to be in his wedding. Of course, I accepted.

We stayed in contact over the next several months. After all, I needed the details of where we were getting the tuxedos, when the wedding would be, when we would be there.

As we were making final preparations, I received a call from a mutual friend. It was Sunday, December 10, which was 6 days before the wedding. This friend called to let me know that Ken was killed in a work-related accident. At the time, I did not know how to take it. I thought this might be a joke. But who would joke about this?

I got on the internet to look this up. I needed to be sure about this. When I checked my e-mail, my old college roommate left me a message about this. He was familiar with the situation, and he wanted to let me know. I found the article in the Greenville, SC newspaper.

I then realized that Ken was gone. I had lost my grandparents before this, but this was different. My grandparents had lived a full life. There deaths were somewhat expected. Ken was young. He had a new life to look forward to as he was going to be married. All of that was gone in an instant. It was a lethal blow from a falling tree. He did not suffer. It was instantaneous.

I struggled with my feelings. Did this really happen? Why? He was young. He was a great guy. He was always willing to help others. How could this happen to him?

I was informed that there would be a memorial service in South Carolina for Ken on December 17. At first, I was not going to go. However, since we had already made plans to be in South Carolina, we decided to go. And I am glad we did.

We had a chance to connect with friends from college. We were a huge group of people coming together to remember the life of a young man who we were all friends with. Several people spoke of how great a friend he was, always willing to help out in times of need.

As I look back at the life of Ken, I realize that he is not here on earth. I cannot call him and talk to him. We will never get to spend time together again on the golf course (and was that ever an experience!). I do know, however, that I will be seeing him again. He may not be here on earth, but he is in heaven, where I will have a chance to see him once again.

You see, his time on earth was done. God had another reason for taking him, one that I will not understand until I see Him. That does not mean that I cannot miss Ken. He was like another brother to me (but I go along much better with Ken). He was my friend, something I will cherish for all time.

Ken - We miss you.